Mending the Pieces

Relationships—

At their core—are all about connections. It’s how people or things are linked to one another. I remember chatting with an old friend years ago and mentioning that we got connected because of high school. Our connections are formed through affiliations, chance encounters, or blood ties.

Some connections stand the test of time—like pure gold. Others might be silver, bronze, or even a little rusty (let’s be real!). Then there are those relationships that come and go, only to make a grand comeback when life brings us back together—picking up right where we left off as if no time had passed at all. Nice, right?

In our community of digital business owners, is another kind of connection, often sparking the moment someone joins the ranks of digital business owners—who share that same passion and drive. It’s a bond built on common goals and big dreams. And more often than not, those initial friendships eventually growing into something deeper, if one chooses to—like finding your business buddy, your accountability partner, or even your go-to co- collaborator.

In essence—relationships evolve and adapt as we do—from sometimes as friends or co-workers into something that's life-changing. And fair to say, whether it’s a lifelong friend or someone you just clicked with, these connections occupy most of our time on earth, as they are essential part of being human.

Wired for connections, as we all are, craving that sense of belonging—even into our final years. It’s no wonder Maslow included it in his Hierarchy of Needs. Without meaningful connections, we’re just wandering through life without the grounding ties that make it richer and more fulfilling.

So, whether it’s a friendship, a romance, or a family bond, relationships shape us, challenge us, and ultimately make life worth living. 

And, meaningful as they sometimes can be, here’s the thing about relationships—they’re a bit like the rhythm of day and night. There’s sunshine and warmth, but there are also shadows and dark patches here and there. It’s not always smooth sailing. Once it gets all messed up and complicated—because it's tangled up with emotions, the highs, the lows, and everything in between—it can have a capsizing effect. Who can relate?

As with the "highs and lows," like the tides, can sometimes brim with energy—playful waves. At other times they simply pull back, creating distance. Ever-changing. Unpredictable. Or, all-too familiar. 

It’s all completely normal—and honestly, it’s what makes relationships dynamic and hopefully, resilient in the passing of time.  But then, there's got to be some effort...

Truth be told, as with any relationships, expectations often naturally emerge, and when not met or maintained, is when things get tricky, or challenging, to say the least.

The varying communication styles, for one, and also personal beliefs, values or views can be factors that come into play dictating where the relationship could be headed. And dare I say, life itself alone, is filled with circumstances. I'm sure we can all agree that we’re unique individuals with our own perspectives, roaming around this world trying to make sense of it all. And sometimes, those perspectives clash with others—whether it’s with family, friends, or even our closest allies.

It’s not about being right or wrong—and If we’re not careful, a lack of regard can throw everything off balance, more like blown out of proportion, Before we even realize it, things have started to crumble into pieces.

It’s heartbreaking when relationships fall apart—sad, and undeniably messy. But here’s the good news: things can be brought back!

I recently picked up Life Is Messy by Matthew Kelly as part of my Lenten reading, as I have also mentioned in another blog article, "It's When I am Weak that I am Strong," which reminded me of something powerful. Kelly talks about how brokenness doesn’t have to be the end. With that said, relationships can not only be restored but come back even stronger and more meaningful than before. 

One way to look at it is through the lens of Kintsugi—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. Instead of trying to hide the damage, Kintsugi highlights the cracks, embracing the history and imperfections of the piece. 

Now, isn’t that a brilliant concept? Imagine if each of us approached our relationships the same way—embracing the cracks, learning from the breakage, and coming back stronger than before, then just like the pottery that becomes more beautiful and valuable after being repaired, who knows how many times, our relationships can take on new depth and resilience, if we’re willing to do the work. Pretty neat!

So, do you also get it now and agree that sometimes the most beautiful things come from what was once broken? The Kintsuge art is proof, right?

This is why when we apply the concept of Kintsugi to relationships, it’s not just about putting the pieces back together—it’s about creating something even more valuable moving forward as there is a backstory embedded. That’s the heart of what I’m getting at here—to challenge the flawed mindset that once a relationship breaks, it’s forever broken, without a chance of revival. Mutual commitment is required to make this happen.

Because let’s be honest—healing and restoration take effort. Real effort initiated by both parties. It’s not just a half-hearted attempt or a token gesture. It can’t be one step toward reconciliation followed by two steps back. Because, if that’s the kind of effort we put in, there’s nothing to connect—no golden seams to hold it together—just fragments that stay broken.

And isn't this what happens most of the time...? 

True reconciliation doesn’t happen when we’re stuck in the past. We stay in the past when we refuse to meet the other halfway, when we keep our distance, or when we let lies—even “little white lies”—because they can get in the way, worst, cause for reopening old wounds. I’ve come to realize that white lies are still lies. They don’t smooth things over;  rather just add salt to the injury, like adding new cracks to what’s already fragile. 

Just like in the image above, when relationships were allowed to remain broken, they find their way to that shelf in the back wall, with all the other broken relationships—purely because we stay in the past, where all the hurt happened. Unwilling to move past the hurt and start anew. Perhaps, in the back of our heads we side with ourselves rather than taking the steps to mend the pieces. Or, perhaps out of our beliefs that because "we were wronged" that it is up to us when we want to accept the apology, or to understand the other. 

When we focus only on our hurt, failing to see where the other is coming from, or was going through, who then really is in the wrong side of things, if this is what we embrace? 

So, yes... relationships can get messy. They ebb and flow like the tides—sometimes strong and steady, other times pulled back and strained. But that’s just part of the rhythm of human connection. We don’t have to fight against it. Only acceptance. No put downs, no blaming games.

Yes, embrace it, because in reality, personal growth is what should be happening—we continue to improve. There has to be changes that happen over time, so we get better in life. Of course, this happens when we heed the scriptures. So with that, we’re not the same people we were years ago (well, unless we’ve let our hearts harden or decided we’re just too good for the people we’ve broken ties with). So, choose to mature, no matter how old we are, to keep our perspectives in check. And, to just have the opportunity to start seeing things with a little more clarity and a lot more wisdom that maybe were lacking in the past, or not having enough of. And honestly? That’s a beautiful thing!

That's when growth happens, when we understand situations better than we once did. When we come into agreement that it takes two to argue, and the same way that it takes two to tango, then we recognize our own flaws, see where we, too, went wrong, or had fallen short of the grace of God ourselves, and eventually learn from our mistakes. It’s a sign of progress—proof that we’re moving forward instead of staying stuck in the past.

And isn’t that the whole point of living? To grow, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves? It’s something worth celebrating because it means we’re open to healing and reconnecting.

So, I say it is fair to say that with lackluster effort to reconciliation, no true reconciliation can come. It's either we're all in, or not. With that in mind, we can not blame the other concerned party for the failure to bring about unity and peace when we know for a fact that our heart isn't for it. If peace is what we want, we have to let it. We can not expect a lasting peace if we would continue to put a demarkation line between us and the other, where the other can not cross past it, or it would only discourage a fresh start from happening.

It is when we fail to grow just because we think we have already grown, then we are on the erring side, if that is what hols us back from being the person we were created for. At the end of the day, relationships aren’t perfect, but they’re worth every ounce of effort. Embrace the messiness, ride out the rough patches, and savor the moments of pure connection. Because real beauty lies in finding balance and learning to value what was once broken.

Who's up for it?

Now is your turn to share your stories ingrained with a heavenly touch. Shoot me a message, I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Many Blessings!